Tommy Dorfman’s Powerful Advice After 13 Reasons Why Fame: “Don’t Take It So Seriously”

Tommy Dorfman, known for her breakthrough role in Netflix’s hit series 13 Reasons Why, recently opened up about the intense experience of sudden fame and the lessons she wishes she could tell her younger self. At 33 years old, Dorfman reflects on the whirlwind journey of rising to stardom and how she learned to navigate the ups and downs that come with it.

What Would Tommy Dorfman Tell Her Younger Self About Fame?

Looking back, Dorfman says the biggest advice she would give is simple: don’t take it too seriously. She explains, “It’s not real. It’s seasonal. It comes in waves. It ebbs and flows.” Fame, especially the kind that comes quickly and unexpectedly, can feel overwhelming. But Dorfman reminds us that it is temporary and not a permanent state of being.

She admits feeling “scared for a million different reasons” when 13 Reasons Why first exploded in popularity. Without any media training or preparation, the fame hit her hard and fast. “Nobody told us they thought the show would be as successful as it was,” she said. The show’s success was beyond anyone’s expectations, and Dorfman, like many others in the industry, felt thrown into a world she wasn’t ready for.

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How Did Instant Fame Affect Tommy Dorfman?

Experiencing instant fame was not always fun or easy. Dorfman shares that it was a scary experience for many actors who find themselves suddenly in the spotlight. At first, she felt overwhelmed and unsure of how to handle the public attention. One moment she was just playing a role, and the next, she was recognized everywhere.

In her memoir, Maybe This Will Save Me, Dorfman describes an intense moment when she was swarmed by teenagers on a New York subway. Rather than feeling thrilled, she felt terrified and ashamed. “I didn’t feel deserving, like my work hadn’t qualified me for that attention,” she wrote. The experience felt like a violation — the anonymity she had taken for granted was suddenly gone.

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How Has Tommy Dorfman’s Relationship With Fame Changed?

Today, Dorfman’s perspective on fame is much different. Instead of fear or discomfort, she now sees public attention as a gift. “I will hug anyone,” she tells PEOPLE. “I’ll take any photo somebody wants me to take.” She feels grateful to meet fans who have been impacted by her work and views these moments as special connections.

She tells her younger self to have fun with it all, to not get caught up in what others are doing, and to enjoy the journey. This fresh outlook has helped her embrace her career without fear or doubt.

Tommy Dorfman’s Journey Beyond 13 Reasons Why

Dorfman first gained recognition playing Ryan Shaver, a recurring character in the first two seasons of 13 Reasons Why. She returned for a guest role in the show’s final season in 2020. The series followed a group of high school students grappling with the aftermath of a classmate’s suicide, striking a chord with audiences worldwide.

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After the show, Dorfman publicly came out as transgender and shared how revisiting the series helped her see the girl she once was, trapped inside her character. Since then, she has taken on new projects both on screen and on stage. She made her Broadway debut in 2024 with Romeo and Juliet and appeared in Lena Dunham’s 2022 film Sharp Stick.

What’s Next for Tommy Dorfman?

Currently, Dorfman feels her career is in a great place. “I’m in no rush to do anything,” she says. She balances acting with producing and developing projects. Over the next few months, she plans to announce several new works that have been in the pipeline.

“I know what I’m doing for the next 12 months,” Dorfman shares. She calls this clarity the “gift of all gifts,” acknowledging how rare it is for artists to have that kind of security in their careers.

Her memoir, Maybe This Will Save Me, dives deeper into her life, the impact of 13 Reasons Why, and her path of self-discovery. It’s available now wherever books are sold.

Tommy Dorfman’s story is a reminder that fame can be fleeting and confusing but also a chance to grow, learn, and connect with others in meaningful ways.